http://www.datingish.com/720270498/sex-in-todays-society/?page=5&jump=1507410810&leftcmt=1#1507410810

You should really read this. I think it is just really honest and it is 100% true. I was really impressed.

Anyway so today was good because I had nothing to do. I loved it :). And im looking forward to another day like this tomrw and im so excited i can barley contain myself. haha.

oh god; okay i am beat. im going to lay down and see if i can sleep. if not ill be back on

Buonanotte mondo :)

So i'm going to: (OH and yes they are very lame and cheesy and not professional lol) :)

I love these games you play with me.

That may sound sick,

but at least i know you think of me.

----------

I hate this stupid wall you keep putting between us.

We both know these feelings are real, you just won't admit it.

---------

Maybe being with you isn't the best idea.

Id lose myself in your smile, i know i would.

But thats something i'm willing to give up, 

i'm nothing without you anyway.

-------------

I want someone who says they would do anything for me,

 and actually live up to that promise.

-------

Cheer me up.

Write me love songs.

Kiss me, hug me.

Just don't leave me.

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I'm sick of crying over you every night.

 Let's just get this started.

I don't like the helpless feeling that you give me.

The only reason I've kept this going for so long is because you actually make me feel something.

You're a bad liar.

Just take one minute and think about you&me.

I can give you more than you've ever imagined.

------

Write me a love letter,

fill the pages of your notebooks

with sweet remedies to soothe my aching heart.

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I don't think anyone believes in us.

I bet you feel the same.

So how come i can't let go?

I know you don't know & yet I still believe you love me.

Wow, I guess they were right when they said I was hopeless.

Hmmmm, well that's all i feel like typing today. Maybe later ill take pics of my sketches and put them up. Its pretty weird that i am honestly just writing on this thing and no one reads it lol. :)

tata for this minute. i sincerely bet that i will post again in like 5 minutes. i officially have no life.

Okay, so i'm back. I couldn't stay away. I took a shower and considered studying for my ap art test/math midterm but then decided against it because i'm the laziest girl you'll ever meet. I really should study so hard for them lol but I honestly cant bring myself to open the binders. I hate school at this point, I mean what's the point in being a senior if you still have a shitload of work. Sigh. Hm well anyway I don't feel like talking about that so i'm going to move on. Anyway, so I was in the shower and I was like what the hell.. why did i get an xanga? hah i mean i had one in like 7th grade but rarely went on it why would i go on now when there's facebook etc... and i was just wondering why i've wanted a blog for so long and i think its honestly because i never talk. i mean i do, but not really talk. I always have all these things to say but i have no one to say them to. I mean i have friends but we don't talk about this sort of stuff, just on the surface type things. and i couldn't really bring myself to talk about stuff to people anymore after me and my best friend had a huge falling out 2 years ago. Pretty sucky but i mean what am i gonna do? we are two completely different people now and we have been for a long time. i'm surprised we stayed friends as long as we did...

So i write poems occasionally and i also sketch. yes sketch; not draw. wow two completely different things i've learned lol. i'm a horrible drawer but not so bad at the sketches ;). I love music. its honestly never not on, i always have headphones on. Seriously, ask anyone. Hah.. My favorite band [this week] is the killers. believe me though that is a constantly changing statement in my world. Hmm uhm i really hate watching tv; though its always on for bg noise..i don't know why i do that, i just do... i DO love tv show dvds though. I have phases with those too. Uhm i tend to say uhm, honestly, and hm a lot.

i have a messy room but its okay because i keep my laptop, ipod and a book on my bed at all times. Oh and yes i read. and not just twilight (though i am a twilight junkie), i read everything. ..yep everything. i like scary things. anything scary and i'm in. i'm shy. very shy. but once you know me i tend not to shut up. i'm stubborn. >[enough said.]

wow so apparently i'm a sporadic writer.  write whatever comes into my head and it appears that its mostly random lol. Wow it feels good to write.. or type i mean.

hmm okay well i'm single and sorta kinda maybe loving..no LIKING it. its alright, not living up to they hype everyone says it is. haha i have had one boyfriend my entire life and i am 17. we were best friends and we had a crush on eachother for the longest time and finally he asked me out. ..i broke up with him the next day. ..the next day. how pathetic am i? lol well it was weird and i got scared + i kind of always had this feeling he was gay. then about a year later after we sort of grew apart from the awkwardness i couldnt stand how muchi missed him so i asked him out and that lasted a week, we didnt see eachother at all because he was on vacation and i broke up with him again because i felt "weird" yea i dont even know, i was stupid and i think i was like 14? so yea we broke up and then we were not friends. guess i kinda deserved that one. but hey it turns out he was gay so  HA! i was right lmao. aha okay so that was the story of my one and only boyfriend.

Thats weird. I wrote a lot. And it was kinda fun lol. I liked it.

I guess im leaving now for the moment... :)

goodnight.

{7 months until college} time couldnt go any slower. ..yet it seems to be..flying..?

UHM BTW. whats up with this thing it keeps not posting part of my post! its annoying. that huge empty space in the middle used ot have words in it but it wont show them... hmmmm well this is what it said :

"So i write poems occasionally and i also sketch. yes sketch; not draw. wow two completely different things i've learned lol. i'm a horrible drawer but not so bad at the sketches ;). I love music. its honestly never not on, i always have headphones on. Seriously, ask anyone. Hah.. My favorite band [this week] is the killers. believe me though that is a constantly changing statement in my world. Hmm uhm i really hate watching tv; though its always on for bg noise..i don't know why i do that, i just do... i DO love tv show dvds though. I have phases with those too. Uhm i tend to say uhm, honestly, and hm a lot." if it even shows this paragraph...